I’m very possessive. And i hate it.

I’m getting so tired of life consisting of me waking up everyday to nothing other then doing whatever around the house and sometimes working. i wanna do something. i dont wanna sit around and be in these terrible moods i’ve been in.

It’s like anxiety is taking over my whole body and i dont even know why anymore. I feel like i’m losing it half the time between school, working 2 jobs, homework, and relationships. I’m tired of helping people, does that make me a bad person? it’s growing weary on me because i do nothing but help others and get nothing in return. I dont expect anything either, its just like i spend so much time on other people i thought somebody would give a damn to ask how i was for once. Selfish? no, i dont think so. i just think i’m at a point in my life where i really just want somebody to care, and ask how i am for once and actually want to hear about stuff.

You were hurt so much by the sins of man.
But instead of punishment you had a different plan.
Because of your love so infinite and great.
You carried the shame with all the weight.
As the Father you gave your most precious Son.
We became forgiven when the sacrifice was done.
You took all the lashes, the scrapes, and the pain.
You bled for a world that had no sane.
You came unto Earth from heaven above.
You were blameless yet you took all the shame for love.
There is proof that you are God because you rose from the grave.
It is written that you are mighty to save.
It brings me to my knees to know you did this all.
us foolish humans who were bound to fall.
Lost and confused, we had no real direction.
We are nothing compared to your holy perfection.
But you changed that all when you opened up our eyes.
You made everything clear from the devil’s disguise.
You gave us real life and guided us through.
And now we’re set free by our faith in you. And I want to thank you for all that you’ve done.
Thank you Abba Father, Holy Spirit, and Son. 

So, everything is just one thing after another it seems. yesterday i went to the doctor, I have a virus, which is not contagious, but it’s basically a huge rush/a bunch of hives all over my body and theres no treatment and i’ll have it for about 3 months. I feel so embarrassed to even go out into public because i’m so afraid people will make fun of me or look at me weird, it’s getting warmer too so i’m not gonna be able to hide under scarves, hoodies, jeans and what not. This could not be worse timing. It all just really sucks and people keep telling me it’s gonna be okay but it really isnt right now, for once somebody told me something that gave me comfort and that was “It’s okay to not be okay, because this isn’t something that anyone should be okay with.” i hate being told all the same things, even though i know people are just trying to help. But oh well. This just sucks, and it sucks that theres absolutely nothing i can do to make it go away and that it’s gonna just have to run its course. So yeah thats pretty much it. Prayers would be really nice. :)